“When we become bereaved, in the beginning, many of us look outwards for help. We set out in the darkness of night with a blanket and a lantern in search of others like us.”
The doctors and nurses at the hospital repeatedly told us we weren’t alone. I wasn’t sure I believed them.
Well, where ARE all these other people?
I don’t know anyone like me.
I’ve never heard anyone talk about stillbirth.
When we got home, I made it my mission to find other moms like me. I needed to read about other parents who lived through the unspeakable. I Googled stillbirth, life after stillbirth, causes for stillbirth, chances of a successful pregnancy after stillbirth. I found a lot of facts and statistics. But I needed more than that. I needed to connect with women and I needed to make those connections immediately. I turned to Facebook and came across several pages dedicated to providing support to pregnancy and infant loss mothers. Still Mothers was a godsend. These woman are exactly like me. Mothers without any living children. Finally, I knew I wasn’t alone. I no longer felt so alone and isolated. The online support from Still Mothers has been so helpful and I’m so grateful for all the women I’ve connected with through the different support groups.
And then there are the women who reached out to me, on a more personal level. They heard what happened to Elliot from family or friends and reached out to offer support and to share their stories. They were further along in their journey and wanted to support me the way others supported them. Even if I didn’t end up taking them up on their offer for support, at the very least they knew it would be helpful for me to read someone else’s story. I took these women up on their offers and I’m so glad I did because I can’t imagine my life without them. They are there on the good days and the bad days. They have become good friends in a relatively short period of time. They get it. They get me and I get them. No matter where this journey takes me, I never want to be without these women.