Who They Are

Elliot was born at 9:11 p.m. on March 30, 2015. She was 7 lbs 11 oz and 21 inches, had beautiful brown hair, and the cutest little nose. She was true perfection. Those lips, cheeks, fingers, and toes. I couldn’t believe that Ben and I created something so beautiful. That perfect little person grew inside my womb for 41 weeks. I still can’t believe it.

For a brief second, as I looked at her face for the very first time, I forgot all the pain, confusion, and shame. I held her and took in her beauty. In those moments, we were simply mother and child. I was in love in a way that I had never been before.

And then it all came back to me. Our little girl would not leave the hospital in our arms.

She may not be in our arms but Elliot is still our daughter, sister, grand-daughter, niece, and cousin. She is missed and loved so deeply. She lives in our hearts. She has a strong presence in our family, extended family, and home.

She lives in every part of me.

She is always in my thoughts and she is included in everything we do. She is everywhere. She is the warm sun on my face, the cool fall breeze, the beautiful cardinal in our yard.

She is my 18-month-old daughter who loves dresses and all things girly. She has quite the sense of humor and lots of energy. She is happy and at peace.